At this time next week, I’ll be in Arcos.
It is so surreal! Before now I never really thought too in depth about the fact that I’m actually moving to Spain. It’s always like, “yeah, im moving to Spain!”and then people asking me lots of vague/silly questions. For example after telling people that I have a (key word) JOB there, 90% of them ask if I’ll be getting paid. Well yes, I certainly hope so. I did say it was a job, right? I’m not crazy enough to move 3,700 miles away from home with no income for 9 months! I also get a lot of, “Oh so are you fluent in Spanish?” and unfortunately the answer to this question is no, I am not. Embarrassingly, my Bachelor’s degree in Spanish does not mean that I actually know the language that I have studied since 7th grade. How’s that for a $200,000 education?
That being said, I am feeling incredibly blessed. I feel slightly uncomfortable using the word blessed, for as those of you who know me know, I am not religious in the slightest. But the only other synonym that comes to mind is “lucky” and certainly it has been more than just sheer luck that has brought me to this incredible place in my life. Tuesday night I went to my Gramma’s house for dinner and all of my family members who are in Buffalo were there too. Usually a short visit with my family is enough for me. I rarely fully enjoy myself during family get-togethers and when it is time to leave I’m the 2nd one up from the table (after my dad, of course). I think it’s because I find it hard to find things in common with them, we have pretty different views on a lot of topics, etc. Normally I sit and absorb their chatter and don’t say much other than the occasional comment or laugh, mostly because I think it would be too hard to open up completely since they don’t know much else about my life other than my geographic location. So rather than explaining who all my friends are, talking all about camp and college, and burdening them with the details of my life, I just soak up the details of theirs.
Since my mom died, my family has always been the most out-of-the-loop when it comes to family-related news. Since my family here in Buffalo is my mom’s side of the family, all of my aunts are sisters and talk to each other often, are always up-to-date on what’s going on with each others’ kids, etc. My dad, sister and I aren’t usually in on most of what goes on because there is no Pilbrow sister over here for my aunts to call. I totally understand this and am fine with it; heck, I don’t really care how everyones’ gardens are doing or what movie they saw this weekend or what car problems are going on. I normally don’t even have time to talk on the phone (in fact it is one of my least favorite methods of communication). Up until recently I was always fine with being slightly outside of the family loop. But now I’m beginning to realize that I was never really outside of it at all, I just have a different place in it.
After dinner at my Gram’s I was the last one to leave because I was hung up on finishing an article about how we are overprotecting our children (truth!). As I left, I hugged my Gramma one last time and she told me matter-of-factly that it’s great that I get to go on these adventures because my mom always wanted to travel the world and now I get to do it for her. I nodded and smiled back tears, told my Gramma I love her and got in my car to head home. When I got in my car I opened the card my Aunt Kathy had handed to me earlier. Inside was some money which I am so grateful for, but what really got me was that both of my aunts and my grandma had signed the card too. For some reason that was what it took for me to realize that I am so blessed. I immediately started crying like the huge softie that I am and felt so thankful that I have a family that loves me and supports what I’m doing and that isn’t intrusive or judgmental. So to my family, thank you. Whether you realized it or not, I never really thought about how good I had it. You have been incredibly supportive and I am going to miss you a lot.
So, I think someone out there is looking out for me. Is it the power of the universe? Who knows? All I know is that I have been incredibly fortunate in my life and that I have such a wonderful opportunity ahead of me. These things could not have happened by chance. So to the forces that be, I can never thank you enough.